How to be "Home" for the Holidays

I’ve been living abroad now for nearly five years. I feel I have adapted to city life and chaos. Not a day goes by where I don’t hear multiple car horns. It can take an hour just to go three miles. Everyone stares at me constantly as if I’m some anomaly. I can’t drive with my wallet in sight or my phone on the seat because “estamos en diciembre”  aka it’s December and people are desperate.  Just last night walking to my car, a friend of a friend stopped me and told me I had to wait. I didn’t understand why and was somewhat irritated until he pointed out the two guys walking towards us. Maybe they were harmless, but I often forget that being a gringa in the barrio definitely makes me a target. Perhaps I’ve become too comfortable thinking I blend in, so I’m grateful for people with more street smarts than I that look out for me. I am at the place where without even realizing it, I am on edge, worrying about things I cannot control. The city can be exhausting. While leaving Krispy Kreme today (yes they have those here and they are wonderful) celebrating the last day of school before break and the excitement of going home, I had to swerve to barely miss being hit by a car that was turning without paying attention to what was coming at him (me).

While in our midterm exams yesterday, the kids all started squirming. One kid said “miss I need to move.” I was thinking he was just trying to cheat or get out of his test until I saw the cockroach run across his desk. Thankfully I’ve become a pro at killing or relocating cockroaches. I grabbed a book and took care of the situation and the baby cockroach that came running after it. Needless to say, I feel constantly surrounded by chaos and at times it can be difficult not having family and friends around you that truly understand who you are. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends here and I am grateful because they are wonderful, but it’s not the same as having people around you that you have known for what seems like forever. It’s one of the reasons that whenever there is a substantial amount of time off, I am on a plane going home. I love going home and escaping, but sometimes going home I feel like a foreigner in my own land. I know with Christmas a lot of people are traveling home, and some are not able to do so because of distance or money, so  I thought I would write a little about how to be “Home” to friends and family who are traveling or unable to travel.

I love feeling like people have missed me. When my niece Natalie comes running towards me for a big hug when I first return, it is one of the best feelings. The simplest of things like Bailey, the dog, wagging her entire back end as soon as she sees me makes me feel like I’m home. Having the family just say welcome back feels good. It is good to express that you miss people, but on the other end, it can get overwhelming when people ask “so when are you moving back?” For a lot of us, especially missionaries, we don’t really have an answer to that question until we feel like God is telling us it’s time to go back.  If maybe only one or two people asked that question it would be fine, but having it asked over and over again can be frustrating. Accept that if someone tells you they don’t know, then they don’t know.

It can be difficult to return at times because my life abroad has very few connections to my life at home. Facebook, email, skype, whatsapp are all great things because they allow us to easily stay connected to people at home, but it’s not the same as being home. I always have to keep in mind that people’s lives do not stop just because I leave. I really appreciate the friends that I have back home that when we get together we can tell funny stories of our lives (especially those that laugh at my stories that may not actually be that funny) or talk about the big things that God is doing in their lives. I appreciate those that ask and listen to however much or little I have to tell them. It’s not always easy to communicate my life here, so I may just talk about simple surface details because that’s what’s easy to talk about.  Ask questions, but don’t expect a deep answer, but if that’s what comes out appreciate it.

Spending time and talking is one of the best ways to make someone feel like they are home, so make sure to invite them to hang out. If you’re having a Christmas party, invite us. If a group of friends are getting together, invite us. If you’re going to or having a new year’s party, invite us. If you’re going to go shopping, invite us. Invite us to get coffee, or lunch, or dinner. We may say no, but the invitation is really appreciated and maybe we say no because we’re intimidated, so don’t be afraid to ask a second time. If we’re at church or any gathering, come approach us and talk to us. Sometimes we’re not sure where to insert ourselves, so invite us in. This goes for foreigners living in your community as well. Every time someone invites me to something here, it makes me feel welcome and a part of the community. There’s nothing that makes you feel more like an outsider than standing in a corner not knowing who to talk to.

I have been so blessed to be able to travel home for the holidays, but there are many that cannot travel. Trust me, it is hard to be away and watch celebrations that you are not a part of. Make a call, write a letter, video chat them in to your celebration. Make them feel that they are missed and that you value what they are doing abroad. It may be a little late at this point, but send them a care package. Make them a video telling them that you miss them. Ask them about their plans and how they are celebrating in whatever place they are in. Tell them that funny story of what happened with grandpa or your uncle or that great white elephant gift. Let them tell you whatever stories they want no matter how interesting or how boring. Above all, pray for them and pray with them whether it be on a phone call or video chat.

I am so grateful for the people in my life. I am grateful that I have been called to live abroad because it has allowed me to appreciate being home. Enjoy these holiday seasons and celebrate the gifts God has blessed us with, especially His Son. Be aware of those around you that are outsiders, include them, and make them feel welcome. 

Rollercoasters

I'm not sure anyone reads this anymore especially since its been since August that I last wrote a blog.  I don't consider myself a writer by any means, so in order for anything to be written I have to be very inspired, and, I have to be honest, inspiration usually comes in the form of a rough week.  I had thought about writing a blog about life in the DR and how I have an oven that I didn't think worked for a year but then found out it has worked the whole time, but with the one condition that it cooks at whatever temperature it feels like (usually around 400 degrees when set to 250 degrees, but I haven't burnt anything yet somehow).  I also thought about writing about the full day process of doing laundry due to having to fill up the washer by filling a bucket (it's a small bucket) with water from the sink and dumping it in the washer. It takes three hours to do just one load of laundry and then several more waiting for it to dry on the clothes line.  Despite these inspiring quirky home appliances, it was never really blog worthy. This week, however, has provided me some inspiration, some good and some bad.
It has been crazy town at school.  It seems like half of the staff of the secondary department has been out.  Every day we have had three to six teachers absent, which in a small school is quite a lot. Here in the Dominican Republic, there is a permanent substitute who covers most absences, and if anything beyond that is needed the other teachers fill in the gaps.  Normally, on Wednesdays I have the first two periods of the day free and then I teach until the end of the day. With the large numbers of teachers being out, I got called in to substitute sixth grade math, and I am not a huge fan of middle school in general and with the limited free periods I wasn't really excited. I subbed the first period and ended up having to sub the second period as well, which meant no planning periods for me, which would be fine except during the third period I was scheduled for my second semester principal evaluation.
I felt like the class that was evaluated was alright, but after getting the feedback from my principal, I realized that for her it didn't go well, and I walked out feeling exhausted, worn out, and underappreciated and realizing that next time I get observed I probably shouldn't have her come watch my worst group. In all of it, she wasn't saying I was a bad teacher, but I started to go on this rollercoaster and I was at the low point. No more excitement from the fall, I was just down.  I went into the next day kind of at the same point (my roommate graciously listened to my venting of frustration, which didn't really vent anything), but making my way up the track as my department head without me saying anything to her told me that in her meeting with my principal that she had stood up for me and said that I was an excellent, excellent teacher. After receiving affirmation that I am in the correct career, I was back at the top of the rollercoaster.
Today being Valentine's day, was the craziest of them all.  Kids are out of uniform (+1 to crazy), they started the morning eating candy for breakfast and continued to eat candy throughout the entire day (+1 million to crazy), and there was a bake sale (+more to crazy). Kids walked in with full bouquets of flowers, stuffed animals literally the same size as they are (10th grade student size), and boxes of food, baked goods, and bags of candy. It was the "day of love" and all the kids were having a great time.  The first response I received in almost every class was, "Miss we can't do math, it's Valentine's day." To which I responded, "No." The first part of the day was great as I kept getting handed all kinds of chocolate from students and teachers, but then came a parent meeting.
Parent meetings can be great things, and parent meetings can be terrible things. For example, yesterday I had a great meeting with a parent of struggling student apologizing for her child's disrespect and irresponsibility (rollercoaster high). Then, I have a parent meeting where the parent tells me and my department head that we are nonessential to the school, and that I am a mean teacher. I left the meeting at the lowest point on the rollercoaster yet. Thankfully my department head and I went and debriefed with the principal and felt very supported in what we are doing. Also, as I was leaving the school, I had a student tell me that I was the nicest teacher in the world (and he's not even my student anymore).
As I step back and evaluate the rollercoaster that this week was, I realize I have learned a lot and also for every low there was something right after to bring me back up. It has also allowed me to evaluate myself as a teacher over the last two years at this school, and as I look at my students what I first see is that they are by no means where they need to be, but when I look a little longer I see that they have made so much progress, and in the end I can only give them the best opportunity to learn, but they must make the decision to want to realize their potential.  I also have seen that as I have made a commitment to spend time in prayer daily for my students and not just their state of mind but also their hearts there have been these little changes and these little cracks that I pray God will make into life changes and wide open doors.
I am happy to have made it through the rollercoaster of the week. I just killed a mosquito (NO DENGUE FOR ME!).

Only been a month and I'm already taking people to the hospital

It’s been almost a month since I boarded a plane once again cringing as I put my suitcases on the scale hoping and praying they would be under 50 pounds.  It’s been an adventure once again.  We had two meetings of preparing for the next school year.  I was able to attend a great conference and listen to rich teaching of the Word.  After two weeks, the students came.  It was probably the most excited I have been to return back to school.  My schedule is definitely crazy teaching four to five periods in a row every day.  I return home and put my feet up because wearing flats all day is not the most comfortable footwear, but it is what I have to do.  I’ve already started making a shopping list for whenever I go back to the states and some Dr. Scholl’s inserts are first on the list. 
I’ve enjoyed having the students back.  I have one group that I taught last year and then three new groups.  This year we decided to make a change to the curriculum and place Geometry before Algebra 2, which means instead of ninth grade taking Algebra 2 like before they are in Geometry and tenth grade having already taking Algebra 2 is also in Geometry.  Since I teach all the groups of ninth and tenth grades, I teach pretty much the same lesson four times a day with a few differentiations based on the group I’m working with.  It’s a lot of Geometry for sure, but I also have my once a week elective Personal Finance and my once a week advisory class, which is eleventh grade, so we are focusing on getting ready for the SAT.
Yesterday was definitely the craziest or most adventurous day I have had thus far.  The day was just a really long day.  I had the first two periods free and then moved into my marathon of five classes in a row.  I was exhausted by the time I was walking down the stairs to go to my car.  My roommate and I began our drive home weaving through the traffic that always seems to exist.  Some parts are more open than others.  In one such part, I was cruising in third gear when out of nowhere a car blew a stop sign and pulled out almost right in front of me.   Immediately, I slammed on my brakes, but as the car got closer and closer I knew it was not going to be in time.  I somehow managed to pull some race car driver move and swerved around the big SUV that thought it owned the road.  After nearly missing by inches, I was a little in shock.  My roommate was in the same condition since she would have been the one worse off had there been an accident.  We made it home and were able to relax.
At around nine that night, my roommate came into my room and said, “I cut myself.  I need you to look at it.”  She said it very animated and then said along the lines of needing to put her hand above her heart to slow the bleeding and then when she did that, she started dripping blood all over the floor. She quickly ran into the bathroom, sat down on the floor, and put her hand over the sink.  I looked at it, and at first it didn’t look very bad.  She had cut her thumb while cutting a giant papaya.  At first I thought it was just bleeding a lot because it was her finger, but then I looked at the other side of her thumb and saw she had actually cut through part of her nail and to the other side of her thumb making more sense to why she was bleeding so much.  I temporarily wrapped her up with some gauze and we drove to the emergency room.  We walked in and the security guard told us to take a seat.  Nobody came to see us or ask anything although her hand was covered in blood.  Finally a nurse came by and told us the doctor would come by when he could.  When the doctor finally came, he didn’t even look at her and moved on.  We were told by a family member of another person that had been there for four hours that since we weren’t major trauma it could be hours before we were seen.  We decided to find someplace else.  We left that emergency room and went to another one where we were seen right away.  We were grateful we’d made the decision to leave the other one.  She had two stitches put in and we finally left the hospital at around midnight.  Five and half hours later, I was awake and getting ready for school.  I’m tired, but happy that everything worked out amidst the madness.
It’s been an eventful start to the school year, but it’s going well.  I’m enjoying working with my students, and just in the first two weeks I’m seeing them grow and learn.  I even had another teacher tell me that a student had listed me as his favorite teacher.  I also joined the school improvement committee, and I am the chair for the data analysis group.  So many things are going on, and I’m very excited for the rest of the school year.

It's summer

It just doesn't feel like it's summer until I arrive in Monte Plata.  After the school year finished, I spent some time on the beach relaxing and recuperating from my first full year of teaching.  I arrived with the intern that is with me for the summer last Saturday, so I have now been here for a week.  Since the school year lasted so long and I have to be back so early in August, my time in Monte Plata is about half of the time that I normally spend here, so I am actually only here for just under two more weeks.  We spend our weekdays out at the orphanage Casa Monte Plata working with the four youngest boys with reading and math.  It's always a day filled with unexpected events.  Some days the boys are eager to do work and other days they would rather just draw pictures of butterflies (I'm pretty sure they just recently learned how to draw them, so they're really into it). 
With the program that we are working on, we are seeing the boys progressing every day. They are all at different stages but they can see themselves improving every day, and they seem to be gaining confidence with each challenge that they get through.  After we complete the reading and math portion, we take time to do a devotional.  It always begins with song time with includes each of the kids receiving a percussion instrument.  I find myself back in my mother's music classroom only instead of being a student, I am her.  They love the tambourines most of all and when we sing the song about the story of Jonah about midway through none of them are sitting in their seats any more because they are so into the song (I don't know what the words are but they sing plenty loud enough to not notice). 
After we finish our time of learning, we have play time.  Usually play time is hide and seek or tag or any game that makes Bethany have to run really hard.  It has been raining pretty much every day so everything is wet which just makes the games even more fun for the boys as they get a kick out of watching me try to turn a corner and have my feet go out from under me.  My shoes have not entered the house for the last week just because of how dirty they are.  We eventually have to stop the games to eat lunch consisting of rice, beans, and something else (chicken, eggplant, fish, okra, etc.).  We have just recently had the routine of reading books after lunch.  Sometimes the kids read them, but most of the time its us reading the books (they especially love the Dr. Seuss books, which are only Green Eggs and Ham and The Cat in the Hat).  One of the boys absolutely loves The Cat in the Hat and when I finish reading it to him he will ask me to read it again. 
We only have one more week of working with the kids, which seems like not very much time, but I'm sure we will enjoy every minute of it.  After next week, we will be heading out to camp for the remainder of my time here, which is the girls camp.  I'm not going to be here for the whole camp so I'm not exactly sure what I will be doing, but I've already had a couple kids asking me if I'm going to be at camp this year.  Its been a couple years since I've been at camp, but I'm definitely excited to be going back.

It's the end of the school year...almost

On Friday, I had my last day of teaching normal classes for the school year.  I use the term normal classes because the system works here completely different from schools in the states.  Twelfth grade actually finished their final exams two weeks ago, but because they still have to take their national exams (required for graduating 8th and 12th grades) they continue taking classes to prepare them for these exams.  There is no more homework and no more grades, but they are still expected to come and be on their best behavior to prepare for these mandatory exams.  On Friday, I had three students.  I have to say it is not my favorite system.  While 12th grade takes their final exams and then classes for national tests, all the other grades are still on the normal schedule.  The last day of classes for 9th, 10th, and 11th grades was on Friday.  Now those grades enter into a week and a half of final exams, so I no longer am teaching them, but I am still continuing to give class to the few 12th grade students that decide to make an appearance. 
Friday felt like a day of madness.  In addition to having final exams, the students are required to complete a final project for each class.  As much as I tried to convince my students not to leave the project to the last minute, the majority did not heed my advice.  On Friday (the due date of their final project), I suddenly have a mad rush of students asking questions, and then even more questions as they receive grades much less than they had anticipated mostly because despite reading through the description of the project multiple times in class, they still did not follow them. 
Right at the start of the day I had one student come to me and ask "Miss, when is the project due?" My response was "I believe you were sleeping when I told the class the due date of the project on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  Find somebody who wasn't."  I had another student tell me "I'm going to fail the semester no matter what, so I'm not going to do the project." He then proceeded to ask me if I thought it was worth it to take the final exam.
Looking back on this past school year, I cannot say these are unusual circumstances.  I have seen a huge lack of motivation in many students.  So much so that finding students that are highly motivated is surprising.  After the first month of school, I wondered if I would get anywhere with these students.  Looking back at the school year, I have seen some students go backwards but so many others make improvements. Some made huge improvements from failing first semester to having the fourth highest grade in the class, and other just small improvements, but I take anything I can get. 
After my first year, I love teaching these kids.  I love the students that I have even the most difficult students.  God has opened so many doors to share the Gospel whether it be one on one during lunch break or to the whole class as I broke from teaching math to answer students about who I think is "good enough" get to heaven with the response that no one is good enough but that it is by God's grace demonstrated through the death and resurrection of Christ.  I know that this is where God wanted me to be this year, and I believe it is where He wants me to be for at least the next year.
Although normal classes are over, there is still another week and a half of final exams and 12th grade classes.  After that week and a half is over, I still have another week of closing out the school year, while giving classes for students that failed either first or second semester in preparation for their "completivos" which are essentially second chance exams.  If they fail those exams they have a third chance to take "extraordinarios" which are in the two weeks before school starts in August.  Needless to say, it is very difficult to actually fail a class.
After I finish the school year, I will go to Monte Plata where I have been working the last five summers for a couple weeks, and then return home in the middle of July. The madness is far from over, but I am happy that I no longer have to make lesson plans and lose my voice from teaching all day. 

Community Service

These past two weeks we have been working with our 11th grade students (of which I am one of the advisors) in preparing them for a community service project. Having done work in Monte Plata, one of the provinces with the highest percentage of people in poverty, the last five summers, I have seen many in need in this country.  Having experienced that and then gone to teach in a private school, which consists of many wealthy families, I realized the extremes in this country.  I was really excited about being able to take our kids who live in the top tier of wealth in this country and work with them on giving back to their community.  I was definitely nervous about how the students would respond to this.
To start our activities we showed up at school at 7:45 on a Saturday morning (not my favorite activity) to head to a public school in Guachupita (the neighborhood the kids were going to work in).  Our students were partnering with the students at this school to do their community service of going into the community and informing them about tropical diseases (malaria, dengue, parasites, etc.).  Guachupita is about a twenty to thirty minute drive from our school and is very different from the community in which our students live in.  In fact, some of our students didn't even believe it was a real place. 
The day had been really well planned out.  The kids were separated into six groups each having a blend of our students and the other school's students.  They spent the first part of the day doing different ice-breakers and team building activities, and the second portion was spent planning how they were going to present the information to the different places they were going. On Monday, the Guachupita students came to our school to work with our students on preparing all the materials.  Again we were a little nervous as we heard some of our groups planning to do powerpoint presentations especially since they were going to places where electricity was not a guarantee.
Wednesday was the big day.  We all packed into the bus once again and headed out to Guachipita.  After convincing our students that for their safety they should leave their iPhones behind, we broke off into our different groups and headed to the streets. The group I was supervising went to a local middle school.  Aside from some technical difficulties and the middle school's doctor adding in comments after every disease our students talked about, the group did a great job.  We headed back to the school and then got back on the bus and went home.
The next day, I decided to use the advisory period to have the students reflect on their experiences.  They had nice answers of "I liked it because we got to meet new people and make new friends" and "I liked it because we got to see how other people live."  I had sort of hoped that it would spark in these kids a little bit more of a response to the needs of the people that surround them, but they did what was asked of them and didn't give a bad representation of the school, so what more can I expect.
After class, one of the students wanted to continue talking about his experiences.  It was a conversation that began in one place and probably went about fifty different places, but it was really interesting to hear his perspectives.  He started with his thoughts about his conversations with the students from the other school.  He had made some comment while he was with them about having a project due and that he just wanted to be done with school.  Their response was apparently in agreement and that they hated school and thought it was a waste of time.  He then told me how he had thought about it and as much as he didn't like school, he knew that it was important.  Even if his mom said he didn't have to go to school he would still go because he knows its important.  He commented that these kids from the other school see no value in school because they don't see any positive results from those that finish school.  These kids are part of a hopeless community where the dream jobs are "police, drug dealing, or government" because they see that with the corruption that is where they can make money.  He said its what they see works, and so they see that as their solution.  After some more discussion, we came to the conclusion that experience shapes their views on the world.  He started then talking about how can we know what's right and wrong and what decides that and that religion is only going to fail because the people that make religion have faults.  It led to an open door to tell him about my relationship with God and that it's not about religion its about knowing my need for a Savior and loving an awesome, true God.  Pray for this student. I know other teachers have had opportunities to share the Gospel with him, and he's definitely looking for something more than what he is living.
Overall it was a good experience and gave me more perspective into my students.  School is busy and students' behavior is becoming progressively worse as the school year gets closer to ending.  We had parent teacher conferences this week as well and there were some unhappy parents.  Hopefully there can be some parent motivation.  Also, it is getting much hotter and much more humid.

So Many Adventures

So many things have been happening, I somehow have lost the time to inform those of you that read this what's been going on.  School's been crazy.  It seems like third quarter is the worst quarter for our students in regards to their behavior.  It has been difficult dealing with some of the discipline cases.  I had one student that received a referral and then went and punched a wall because he was upset and broke his hand.  Of all the quarters, this has been the one that I have had to write the most office referrals.  In addition to the discipline issues, I also received an additional prep this quarter.  I now teach Algebra II, Geometry, Pre-Calculus, and Calculus every day of the week and Personal Finance and Advisory one day a week.  It is much more work.  The new class is the twelfth grade calculus class.  I was pretty nervous picking up the new class, but it's really going well and I enjoy teaching it. 
We bought a car. A manual Volkswagen Golf.  When we purchased the car the power steering was not working, so we had to get that fixed before we started using it.  It was supposed to be a one day job, but it turned into a week and a half repair.  During the time it was getting fixed, I made a trip home to surprise my family and meet my new niece Natalie.  It was great being home especially for such an exciting time in our family.  When I came back to the country, the car was fixed and we started driving it. 
The next weekend we decided to take a trip up to the north coast for a couple days on the beach.  We spent Friday in Monte Plata and then Saturday morning I decided to test my memory of driving stick shift and drove the car to the beach.  It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be.  We made it up to the beach in about two hours, which included a long drive up and over the mountain.  I was a little nervous to be driving the mountain since it's a very curvy and steep road, but we made it up and over and to the place we were staying.  On Sunday our plan was to leave early enough to make it to the capitol to see our high school girls soccer game.  As we started going up the mountain (my roommate was driving), the car decided it didn't want to stay in gear.  We ended up having to roll backwards down the mountain in neutral (not my favorite activity).  We went to the place we had stayed the night before realizing that God always has a purpose in everything.  Another guest at the place we were staying happened to be a mechanic and checked the car for us and told us that the clutch was burned out and needed to be replaced. We left the car in the hands of the owners of the place we were staying who told us they would take the car to the mechanic on Monday since it wasn't open on Sunday. 
We enjoyed some extra time by the pool as we waited for a bus to take us back.  We went back to work on Monday with another week of school.  On Friday, we then took another bus back to the beach to pick up our fixed car.  It was like driving a different car.  I had to get used to the new clutch and its sensitivity.  I stalled it probably about five times in a row right in front of a restaurant. 
An older Italian man came up and leaned against the window and asked if I needed any help.  I told him I could do it and he told me to just calm down.  After that I didn't have any problems, except for at the gas station when I couldn't get the car to go because I forgot to take the emergency brake off and when I started going up the mountain and didn't have enough momentum and had to roll back down to a flatter part to get a "running start."  I drove it back through the mountains and then through Santo Domingo Sunday traffic, which was a little scary since rules are not observed and there are lots of cars, but we made it in one piece back to the apartment and all was well.
Monday morning I woke up at three in the morning feeling that something was wrong with my stomach.  After emptying the contents of my stomach, I went back to sleep feeling okay and thinking I had just had some food poisoning.  Unfortunately, when I woke up to get ready to go to school I felt just as bad as I had at three.  I then decided it was time to call my supervisor and the principal to tell them I would not be coming to school.  I spent the rest of the day between my bed and the bathroom.  I got some frantic calls from the teachers at school telling me I should go to the hospital, but I was convinced it was just a 24 hour bug. The other teachers were not easily convinced but they gave me 24 hours.  By the afternoon, I was feeling pretty tired and dehydrated, but I wasn't feeling sick any more and was able to keep down water and then later crackers.  Plans are to go to school tomorrow. 
It has definitely been a crazy couple of months, but I know that this is where I am supposed to be.