Rollercoasters

I'm not sure anyone reads this anymore especially since its been since August that I last wrote a blog.  I don't consider myself a writer by any means, so in order for anything to be written I have to be very inspired, and, I have to be honest, inspiration usually comes in the form of a rough week.  I had thought about writing a blog about life in the DR and how I have an oven that I didn't think worked for a year but then found out it has worked the whole time, but with the one condition that it cooks at whatever temperature it feels like (usually around 400 degrees when set to 250 degrees, but I haven't burnt anything yet somehow).  I also thought about writing about the full day process of doing laundry due to having to fill up the washer by filling a bucket (it's a small bucket) with water from the sink and dumping it in the washer. It takes three hours to do just one load of laundry and then several more waiting for it to dry on the clothes line.  Despite these inspiring quirky home appliances, it was never really blog worthy. This week, however, has provided me some inspiration, some good and some bad.
It has been crazy town at school.  It seems like half of the staff of the secondary department has been out.  Every day we have had three to six teachers absent, which in a small school is quite a lot. Here in the Dominican Republic, there is a permanent substitute who covers most absences, and if anything beyond that is needed the other teachers fill in the gaps.  Normally, on Wednesdays I have the first two periods of the day free and then I teach until the end of the day. With the large numbers of teachers being out, I got called in to substitute sixth grade math, and I am not a huge fan of middle school in general and with the limited free periods I wasn't really excited. I subbed the first period and ended up having to sub the second period as well, which meant no planning periods for me, which would be fine except during the third period I was scheduled for my second semester principal evaluation.
I felt like the class that was evaluated was alright, but after getting the feedback from my principal, I realized that for her it didn't go well, and I walked out feeling exhausted, worn out, and underappreciated and realizing that next time I get observed I probably shouldn't have her come watch my worst group. In all of it, she wasn't saying I was a bad teacher, but I started to go on this rollercoaster and I was at the low point. No more excitement from the fall, I was just down.  I went into the next day kind of at the same point (my roommate graciously listened to my venting of frustration, which didn't really vent anything), but making my way up the track as my department head without me saying anything to her told me that in her meeting with my principal that she had stood up for me and said that I was an excellent, excellent teacher. After receiving affirmation that I am in the correct career, I was back at the top of the rollercoaster.
Today being Valentine's day, was the craziest of them all.  Kids are out of uniform (+1 to crazy), they started the morning eating candy for breakfast and continued to eat candy throughout the entire day (+1 million to crazy), and there was a bake sale (+more to crazy). Kids walked in with full bouquets of flowers, stuffed animals literally the same size as they are (10th grade student size), and boxes of food, baked goods, and bags of candy. It was the "day of love" and all the kids were having a great time.  The first response I received in almost every class was, "Miss we can't do math, it's Valentine's day." To which I responded, "No." The first part of the day was great as I kept getting handed all kinds of chocolate from students and teachers, but then came a parent meeting.
Parent meetings can be great things, and parent meetings can be terrible things. For example, yesterday I had a great meeting with a parent of struggling student apologizing for her child's disrespect and irresponsibility (rollercoaster high). Then, I have a parent meeting where the parent tells me and my department head that we are nonessential to the school, and that I am a mean teacher. I left the meeting at the lowest point on the rollercoaster yet. Thankfully my department head and I went and debriefed with the principal and felt very supported in what we are doing. Also, as I was leaving the school, I had a student tell me that I was the nicest teacher in the world (and he's not even my student anymore).
As I step back and evaluate the rollercoaster that this week was, I realize I have learned a lot and also for every low there was something right after to bring me back up. It has also allowed me to evaluate myself as a teacher over the last two years at this school, and as I look at my students what I first see is that they are by no means where they need to be, but when I look a little longer I see that they have made so much progress, and in the end I can only give them the best opportunity to learn, but they must make the decision to want to realize their potential.  I also have seen that as I have made a commitment to spend time in prayer daily for my students and not just their state of mind but also their hearts there have been these little changes and these little cracks that I pray God will make into life changes and wide open doors.
I am happy to have made it through the rollercoaster of the week. I just killed a mosquito (NO DENGUE FOR ME!).